WASHINGTON — The Department of Health and Human Services announced Tuesday a sweeping new initiative requiring all Americans over the age of 12 to complete a mandatory 40-hour “Digital Wellness Certification” course before being allowed to post on social media platforms.
The program, set to launch January 1, 2027, will be administered through a partnership between HHS and major tech companies. Citizens will be required to watch modules on topics including “Recognizing Your Own Bias,” “The Dangers of Sharing Without Fact-Checking,” and “Why Your Opinion Might Not Need to Be Posted.”
“We’ve seen the damage that uncertified internet users can do,” said HHS Secretary Dr. PatriciaVendell at a press conference. “Just as we require a license to drive a car, we must ensure Americans have the proper training before they’re allowed to operate a Twitter account.”
The certification process will include a final exam that must be passed with a score of 85% or higher. Questions will cover appropriate emoji usage, how to identify misinformation (defined as “information that contradicts guidance from verified federal sources”), and a section requiring applicants to correctly identify which topics are “above their expertise level.”
Tech platforms will be required to verify users’ certification status before allowing posts. Uncertified users will still be able to browse content but will see a banner reading “You Are Not Yet Qualified to Participate in This Conversation.”
The certification will need to be renewed every two years, with a shortened 8-hour “refresher course.” Americans who fail the exam three times will be referred to a mandatory counseling program called “Digital Readiness Initiative” to assess whether they should be allowed online privileges.
Early polling shows 73% of Americans support requiring certification for others, while 89% believe they personally should be exempt.
— SATIRE —
Key Points
- Americans will need to pass a government exam with 85% or higher before posting on social media platforms starting in 2027
- The 40-hour course includes modules on bias recognition, fact-checking, and determining when your opinion “might not need to be posted”
- Certification must be renewed every two years, and those who fail three times will be sent to mandatory counseling
Aporia News – June 16, 2026
