New program requires $127 permit, safety course, and written exam before Americans can legally use public walkways...
New "Yard Equity Reports" aim to combat systemic inequality in backyard bird populations...
New MindTrack USA app will monitor citizen happiness levels and flag "problematic thoughts" for intervention...
New federal program allows parents to exempt children from any topic that might result in learning something....
Facial recognition software will verify students recite promises to report "suspicious content" and trust "approved curriculum materials"...
New smart devices will prevent homeowners from being more comfortable than their neighbors, officials say....
New law requires citizens to log 8,500 steps daily or face monthly penalties through Federal Activity Monitoring System...
New regulation requires $340 retrofits for existing fans, threatens fines for clockwise rotation violations...
New equity-based system replaces Interstate numbers with decimal scores reflecting each route's "carbon guilt" and historical reparations quotient....
New federal regulation uses zip code income data to adjust maximum vehicle speeds, with luxury car owners facing strictest limits...