WASHINGTON — The Department of Health and Human Services announced Thursday a sweeping new initiative requiring all Americans over the age of 12 to complete a mandatory 40-hour online course on “Emotional Literacy and Feelings Validation” before being permitted to post on social media platforms.
The Digital Wellness and Compassionate Communication Act, which passed with bipartisan support in a rare 3 a.m. Senate vote, establishes a federal certification system that users must obtain before accessing Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or any platform with more than 100,000 active users.
“Too many Americans are going online without the proper training to process their feelings in a healthy, government-approved manner,” said HHS Secretary Dr. Patricia Yun at a press conference. “This certification ensures that every citizen understands the emotional impact of their words before they click ‘post.'”
The course, developed by a consortium of university psychology departments and social media consultants, includes modules on “Recognizing Your Privilege Before Tweeting,” “The Harm of Disagreement,” and “When Your Opinion Is Actually Violence.” Users must score at least 85% on the final exam, which requires writing an apology letter to a hypothetical marginalized person they may have offended.
Current social media users will have 90 days to complete the certification or face account suspension. The course costs $299, though subsidies are available for individuals who can demonstrate they’ve never posted anything problematic.
Tech companies have responded enthusiastically to the regulation. “We’re thrilled the government is finally taking online safety seriously,” said a Meta spokesperson. “This will make our platforms much easier to moderate, since everyone will have been pre-trained in acceptable discourse.”
Early adopters report the course takes between 35-50 hours to complete, depending on how many times they need to retake the “Understanding Why Your Feelings Matter More Than Facts” section.
The certification must be renewed every two years to account for evolving standards of sensitivity.
— SATIRE —
Key Points
- All social media users must complete federal training on “Compassionate Communication” and score 85% on feelings validation exam
- Course includes modules on privilege recognition and learning when opinions constitute violence
- $299 certification must be renewed every two years as sensitivity standards evolve
Aporia News – September 17, 2026
