WASHINGTON — The Department of Transportation announced Tuesday that all vehicles manufactured after January 2027 must include a federally mandated “Road Equity Monitor” that will automatically slow down cars traveling through affluent neighborhoods to ensure transportation fairness.

The new regulation, issued under the Infrastructure Equity and Justice Act, requires vehicles to use GPS technology to detect when they enter census tracts with median household incomes above $150,000. Upon detection, the vehicle’s maximum speed will be automatically reduced by 35% “to promote contemplative driving and reduce the historical mobility advantages enjoyed by wealthy communities,” according to the 847-page rule.

Transportation Secretary Miguel Vasquez defended the measure at a press conference, explaining that “for too long, Americans in luxury vehicles have been able to transit through expensive neighborhoods at speeds that reinforce systemic inequalities in our transportation infrastructure.”

The monitors will also track how much time drivers spend in various neighborhoods, with monthly reports sent to a new DOT database. Drivers who spend “disproportionate time” in high-income areas without living there may receive mandatory notifications encouraging them to “explore diverse economic geographies.”

Automakers pushed back on the regulation, noting that the required technology will add approximately $2,400 to the cost of every new vehicle. Ford’s Chief Compliance Officer stated the company is “committed to exploring how we can make speed reduction equitable and affordable.”

The rule includes an exemption for federal employees, members of Congress, and vehicles registered to households with annual incomes below the federal poverty line, who will receive special transponders allowing normal speed limits in all neighborhoods.

Implementation begins in eight months, with the DOT promising a “smooth transition to fairer roadways for all Americans.”

— SATIRE —