WellnessTrack™ will monitor sleep, steps, and nutrition to ensure citizens meet Federal Wellness Guidelines...
New app will track citizen happiness levels and trigger interventions for those scoring below federal thresholds...
New database will track Americans' heating and cooling habits; violators face $500 monthly fines for unauthorized comfort levels....
HHS says centralized fitness tracking will help identify "at-risk individuals" and reduce burden on healthcare system...
HHS says mandatory fitness monitoring will promote "shared responsibility" for healthcare costs while critics raise minor privacy concerns about 24/7 government location tracking....
Bureau of Peer-to-Peer Financial Oversight will require explanations for splitting dinner bills, concert tickets...
New HHS database will track citizen hydration levels; fines begin at $50 for non-compliance...
Students must pass federal exam and receive QR code before using school computers or home internet without adult supervision...
Department of Education says cafeteria workers must stop making "oppressive assumptions" about student food preferences...
New federal program requires children to prove competency with rotary phones and VCRs before grade advancement....