Students must acknowledge harm caused by empirical evidence and the scientific method to alternative ways of knowing...
New "Safe and Equitable Mobility Tracking System" will assign every trip a carbon score and require advance approval for long-distance travel...
New DOE policy requires universities to pixelate "potentially exclusionary" calculus and offer students opacity controls for complex formulas...
CARE Test will assess whether students demonstrate approved feelings about sensitive topics; AI cameras will monitor facial expressions...
New Digital Wellness Certificate requires students to demonstrate proficiency in 200 approved communication scenarios before receiving diploma...
New federal database will track household climate control settings to ensure "equitable distribution of comfortable air"...
New federal database will monitor household heating and cooling to ensure compliance with "scientifically optimal temperature corridors"...
New "Wellness Passport" system will track citizens' nutritional compliance scores and restrict access to foods containing over 15 grams of sugar...
New "Emotional Impact Statements" must be filed weekly or citizens face fines under National Wellness Accountability Framework...
Six-week evening courses will teach "Automotive Privilege" and "Learning to Love Public Transit" to Americans whose driving habits fail federal sustainability metrics...