New regulation requires $340 retrofits for existing fans, threatens fines for clockwise rotation violations...
New equity-based system replaces Interstate numbers with decimal scores reflecting each route's "carbon guilt" and historical reparations quotient....
New federal regulation uses zip code income data to adjust maximum vehicle speeds, with luxury car owners facing strictest limits...
New curriculum replaces physical education with "sustainable scrolling practices" and proper ring light technique...
New federal program requires therapy sessions and journaling about "turn signal trauma" before license renewal....
New DHS program aims to end workplace email chain terrorism through strict licensing requirements and annual fees...
New "SMART-H" system will allocate road access based on trip importance and carbon equity scores...
New federal program requires K-12 students to express remorse to classroom furniture before daily instruction can begin...
New federal program requires drivers to focus exclusively forward, side mirrors permitted after completion of four-hour lateral awareness course....
New DOT regulation mandates government approval process for vehicles over 3,500 pounds, with 45-day waiting period...