New "Safe and Equitable Mobility Registration System" will score trip necessity and encourage citizens to "Rethink Your Journey"...
New federal program will teach motorists to "examine their merge privilege" and "practice intersectional turn signal theory" before license renewal....
New federal program aims to close "digital equity gap" by requiring students to document social media usage and streaming hours for graduation....
New licensing system requires students to pass ideological competency exam and complete 40 hours of supervised media literacy training...
New federal program will redirect lunchroom chatter toward approved academic topics or issue corrective prompts...
HHS officials say unmonitored feelings pose risk to national wellness infrastructure; citizens must report emotional states twice daily or face fines....
Smart fridges will report dietary choices directly to insurance companies under new federal regulation...
New rule classifies "I Did That" stickers as unauthorized modifications to federally regulated fuel equipment, punishable by fines up to $500....
New $847 billion program will require drivers to maintain speeds under 35 mph while streaming approved meditation content...
New "Cognitive Flexibility Compliance Initiative" will track citizens who maintain same beliefs for over 18 months...