New certification program addresses "epidemic of micro-aggressions" occurring daily on American roadways, officials say....
Households with high emissions may find their homes "slightly warmer" during summer months as penalty for climate sins....
Wealthy drivers will be limited to 45 mph while low-income Americans can travel 75 mph under new federal transportation equity initiative....
New "Safe and Accountable Travel Registry" will track citizen movements to ensure "equitable road usage" and prevent "unnecessary travel"...
Students will learn to calculate the environmental cost of their existence and "sit with those feelings," officials say....
Homeowners will submit quarterly reports on fridge contents; units over 25 cubic feet subject to "Cold Privilege Tax"...
Students must acknowledge harm caused by empirical evidence and the scientific method to alternative ways of knowing...
New "Safe and Equitable Mobility Tracking System" will assign every trip a carbon score and require advance approval for long-distance travel...
New DOE policy requires universities to pixelate "potentially exclusionary" calculus and offer students opacity controls for complex formulas...
CARE Test will assess whether students demonstrate approved feelings about sensitive topics; AI cameras will monitor facial expressions...