New program aims to combat "thermal individualism" and ensure "equitable temperature justice" across the nation...
New Department of Energy database will track appliance temperatures, compliance violations, and "high-risk cooling behaviors" nationwide....
Wealthy households will be capped at 64°F in winter under new equity temperature regulations requiring IRS-connected smart thermostats....
New climate program creates Office of Appliance Oversight with $847 million budget to monitor home cooling units...
New HUD regulation requires homeowners to replace front doors with 48-inch government-certified entrances or face monthly fines...
Federal officials say Americans are wasting valuable wellness opportunities during bathroom breaks....
New system requires 12-minute emotional questionnaire each time student logs into school device...
New mandate demands detailed appliance specifications, photos, and $45 fee; multi-fridge households face surcharge...
New "Mindful Motors Initiative" requires 15-minute breathing exercises and AI-monitored facial scans to ensure drivers achieve "sufficiently peaceful state"...
New federal program will teach Americans to "heal their relationship with automotive transportation" before getting back behind the wheel....